It occurred to Mommy that I spend all of my time discussing the lives of the kiddos, myself, and Daddy. I stay focused on our little world and tend to avoid discussing any current events. While such things as presidential elections and which pop star married which average joe makes the headlines of other blogs, they rarely, if ever, are spoken of here. A lot of that has to do with the fact that Mommy is recording the history of our family and there are plenty of other people recording the collective history of the world. While we remain important to each other, at present, our lives don’t qualify us to be eternally remembered. This is something we have in common with 99.9% of the human race and that’s ok. You don’t have to be important to world if you’re important to someone that matters.

However, in light of certain events on the national level and on the personal level, Mommy thought I would take the time to talk about a few things going on around us while the kiddos are growing and what my perspective is on everything. I’m writing this with the thought that perhaps, when they’re older, the kiddos will read this and gain some insight into the times we live in and the heart and thoughts of their Mommy.

On December 14^th, 2012, there was a horrific shooting in Newtown, Connecticut at an elementary school. A very disturbed man, for reasons unknown, shot his mother, then drove to Sandy Hook Elementary School where he brutally gunned down twenty young children and six adult staff members. This took place on a Friday, a day that Jack had afternoon preschool. Due to how busy things are on a school day, Mommy didn’t hear about this awful event until it was almost time for Little Man to head off for school. I certainly didn’t hear any of the details until much, much later.

I remember watching the news coverage on the television in our living room while Bee took a nap. I heard the reports of children dying and saw images of parents running towards their children’s school only to face the worst moment of their lives. There is simply nothing more horrific to think about than losing your child, especially in a violent way. As a parent, you want nothing more than to protect your babies, regardless of their age. It’s instinctual to throw your body in harm’s way to protect your beloved.

As I sat there, my heart broke for those parents because as a mommy, I know what my children look like when they’re sad or afraid. I know what my kiddos’ tears look like with even a small booboo and I know how to ease their pain and fears. Those are the type of things you know when you’re a parent. The mere thought of my children facing such evil without me there to comfort them, when my babies’ first instincts are always to call out for me, knowing they would be crying for me and desperate to be safe at home, is enough to drive me crazy. I sat there feeling what I’m sure was only the smallest of slivers of what those parents were feeling and I simply cried and prayed my heart out.

Mommy is an incredibly empathetic person. If I’m not careful, my heart can be engulfed by the pain of others. I can be devoured by what my emotions would be if I were in a given situation and I simply just cry with the emotional earthquakes of my heart. It’s because of this, that after the initial reports of the shooting, I forced myself to back away. I can’t control the madness in the world and my tears, regardless of how genuine and impassioned, couldn’t ease the pain of those I cried for. So, with Christmas quickly approaching, I threw myself into the Christmas season and relished each hug, each kiss, each tender moment, a little bit longer because tomorrow is promised to no one. So, on with life we went.

On Monday, April 15^th, during the Boston Marathon, two bombs were detonated, killing three, including an eight year old little boy and maiming scores of others. It’s too soon to have any real answers and to be honest, there can never really be an adequate answer for mass murders or evil of any kind. We can’t predict when these things will happen and we, despite our need to understand them, will never be satisfied regardless of the outcomes. It’s been nearly twelve years since the attacks of September 11^th, 2001 and it didn’t matter how many times we collectively watched images of people leaping from their collapsing buildings to die on their own terms or how many heart wrenching voice messages we listened to, there are no answers or motives that ease the pain of those impacted.

As a people it’s in our nature to seek out answers, but those answers never satiate the grief. Because of that, Mommy made yet another decision, to avoid diving into the various mass media accounts and speculations of the events of April 15^th. After the clouds had settled, Mommy focused on the things I can control. So, I spent the next day, dancing with my little girl. I turned off the news, stopped worrying about every day stresses and focused on the beautiful smile of my amazing Beezy.

Over the weekend, our family woke up to find that a beloved furry family member had been brutally mauled by another animal. Nigel the Professor or Nigels as Jack liked to call him, was a very loving black cat who spent his nine years on this earth being a faithful companion. He was always quick to be petted and never did harm. He was a gift to Mommy from Daddy when we first were dating and in essence, he signified the beginning of our family. To lose him at all hurt, but to lose him so violently was devastating and he was just a cat. However, while is loss doesn’t even compare to the events I speak of above, he was a member of our family and his death was a personal loss.

Jack saw Mommy crying when Daddy told me what had happened to Nigel and he wanted to cry because he knew his mommy was sad. Instead, he cuddled up next to me, told me he loved me, and we sat and watched a television show together. Periodically he would look up to make sure I was ok and then ask me if I have any booboos. I explained to him that Mommy was just sad and it’s ok to be sad. Later that evening, Daddy explained to Jack that Nigels was gone and that’s why Mommy was so sad. Jack then said that made him “so so sad.” He’s too young to understand death, but he certainly understand empathy and comfort. My darling Jack has a very sweet and tender heart and I’m sure his little sister will grow up to be the same. They each will want to share their love and their comfort whenever possible, just like Mommy and Daddy.

There is a Beatle’s song that always comforted me when I was younger, Let it Be. One of the lines of the chorus is, When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Being raised Catholic, I always felt a very strong affinity towards the Virgin Mother and while I prayed frequently to God, it was to my celestial mother I always prayed to when I was grief stricken.

The sentiment of letting something be is extremely profound, but that philosophy has evolved over the years for me since having children. It’s not enough to just let something be because nothing in my life is allowed to simply exist. With children, your life vibrates with energy of one kind or another. So, in times of trouble, I find myself living. Through love and laughter, through the moments I do have control over, when the rest of the world appears to be spinning out of control, I live.

Living, that is the greatest lesson I can impart. To hell with making lemonade out of lemons. When faced with never ending images of pain and left with only questions than never be truly answered, live your life to the fullest. Where there is darkness, bring your light. Where there is hate, bring your love. Where there is nothing, but heartache, find a reason to smile.

Mommy, once again, is totally behind and I’m not even talking about how late I am posting about Christmas and kiddo birthdays, but it’s supposed to be cold and rainy the next couple of days so Mommy is on total lock down until everything is up to date, including Christmas, albeit in April. However, there’s a lot of ground to cover for the past few weeks, so, now is as good a time as any to start. . .

Life has been crazy the past few weeks, but the main diversion from writing about the amazing family I have has been the beautiful weather we’ve been experiencing and the awesome time we’ve had just being a family. From the revival of family movie weekends to just exploring our beautiful property, life has been full and relatively illness free. Lil Miss did have yet another double ear infection a few weeks ago and both of the kiddos are recovering from yet another round of the common cold, but we’re really trying to just jump into having Spring Fever. We’ve been cooped up for months and we’ve been ready to take flight. For Mommy this has meant satisfying the growing desire to dig in the dirt and finally achieve the goal of starting a vegetable garden.

For weeks now, even before the weather turned favorable, Mommy and Jack have been hauling landscaping debris from one section of the yard to another. We’ve been clearing land to make way for bigger and better things. With over half an acre of long neglected landscaping, there’s been plenty to clear. So, rain or shine, as long as Lil Miss was snoozing, we were outside, moving logs, limbs, vines, rocks, bricks, dirt, leaves, steel poles, and even long abandoned tent poles from the 1970′s. We spread mulch, and evened out grounds that Daddy tilled over. As Jack put it, we were farming. It was a lot of hard work and at times Jack preferred to have his attention occupied by the throwing of rocks or even an old metal bowl we found that he pretended was an airplane as he hurled it through the air, but in the end, our land clearing tasks were completed in record time. Mommy even managed to dig out a large steel post that was anchored with copious amounts of cement. It just felt good to be outside and it felt even better to be insanely and noticeably industrious.

A few weekends ago, Daddy dismantled a sixty year old shed that was a moment from caving in and the preferred home for many a wasp. In addition to dismantling the shed, Daddy spent a great deal of time, cutting down diseased trees, hauling debris to the landfill, hauling scrap metal items to the recycler, and removing a long passed useful dog run. All of this has been with the intention and plan of putting in a large wooden swing set for the kiddos in the far back corner of our property.

We want the kiddos to have a safe and special spot to go and play that is as far away from the street as possible. Mommy and Daddy want Jack and Beezy to have a backyard that offers everything you might want from a backyard if you’re a pintsize occupant. They already have plenty of grass to run around on, a lot of great asphalt for sidewalk masterpieces, and lot of nature to explore, but the list of fun that we have planned over time makes Mommy and Daddy feel like kids in a candy store. From a large play structure to a sandbox, the basics are relatively easy to acquire, but Mommy has plans of a small cement racetrack for Hotwheels, a tree house, and a playhouse. Oh, if only time and money were endless resources, the amazing stuff we could achieve for the ultimate in backyard fun. But, one project at a time. . .

So, while the backyard has a long way to go and we’re still in the throes of getting everything into shape, we’re doing our best to focus on the things we can do right now. For Mommy that has meant organizing a vegetable garden and for Daddy that has meant clearing out an excess of evergreen for a chicken coup and planting everything from rose bushes to fruit trees. Yes, Mommy said chicken coup. We’re a vegan family who has decided to raise chickens. Daddy decided his would be a fun activity for the whole family after seeing the supplies on sale at a local farm supply store. So, we are now urban farmers to nth degree. Jack was quite excited to learn of our new family members and proudly showed his excitement by donning a hat Daddy was given for making such a sizeable purchase during the store’s grand opening.

Little Man was also a huge fan of the chicken coup Daddy assembled. He pretended to be a “cheechin”, clucking in, out, and all about the coup.

The little chicks are still too young to be easily differentiated. However, of the two black ones, one chick has a white toe. Mommy has named this chick, Bernice, Bernie for short because I’ve always thought that seemed like an appropriate name for a hen. When asked what we should name the other chicks, Jack responded that both of the white chicks should be named Fluffel and both of the black chicks should carry the same moniker of Bernie. We’ll wait till they’re a little older and broach the naming of the hens once more.

Mommy is on board with this because I really do like the chicks, we have 2 white and 2 black, and I think it will be nice for the kiddos to understand how food should be acquired.

Food is something you pull out of the ground or comes from animals you care for and not from a disgusting factory farm system. While we strongly believe in the health benefits of a vegan lifestyle, we also are strongly opposed to supporting a system that torturing animals, raping the earth, and keeps people sick because it’s more profitable. Neither Daddy nor Mommy grew up with a huge understanding about food, which I think is pretty normal for people from our generation. We were raised by the baby-boomer generation, which was just a hop skip and a leap away from a generation that lived off the land. The only preservatives used were natural and people understood the benefit of a victory garden. No one really examined what the price of convenience truly was when our parent’s generation starting partaking of boxed meals and genetically modified crops. Daddy and Mommy are dedicated to turning that around for ourselves and our kiddos. But, Mommy digresses. . .

So, we’re going to be urban farmers, at least that’s the plan. So, while Daddy’s four chicks are thriving under our stairs until their big enough to be moved to their cozy coup, Mommy wishes she could say the same for her vegetable garden. My victory garden appears to be a bit of an oxymoron. Due to a sudden and unpredicted cold snap last Friday, Mommy’s prematurely planted seedlings appear to be in failing health. I’ve been covering them with sheets and plastic at night, in hopes that I can carry them into warmer weather, thus allowing me to nurse them back to life. Daddy thinks I’m in denial, especially as I’m checking four different weather forecasts every few hours. Time will tell if I’ll be successful, but I suppose worst case scenario I will have to procure new seedlings when the weather turns more favorable. Lesson learned.

Yes, we’ve all fallen victim to the deceitful ways of early Spring weather. The weather was absolutely gorgeous over Spring Break. The temperatures were in the upper 60′s and lower 70′s and it seemed that the biggest hurdle we had to face was convincing Lil Miss that walking outside wasn’t a scary endeavor. The first few times Mommy attempted to roam the grounds with Beezy, she just looked up at me with a quivering lower lip before desperately grabbing at me and begging to be picked up. Fortunately, this odd fear of the grass eventually gave way to curiosity and a sense of achievement during our Easter egg hunt on Easter morning. Then, suddenly, everything turned cold and we’ve been forced back into cold weather garb until the Spring winds change yet again. However, on days that we’re not planning on going anywhere, Mommy does indulge in letting Beezy walk around the house in warm weather clothing, hopeful her cuteness with coerce the winds into changing sooner.

Mommy is very thankful that it was relatively warm and inviting outside during Spring Break and for Easter. While Daddy still had to work for most of his time off of school, we still had a nice four day weekend full of beautiful weather. On Saturday, before Easter, Nana and Grandad stopped by to give their kiddos their Easter goodies. They gave each of the kids a super cute Easter outfit and lots of super yummy treats. Mommy couldn’t wait to put Lil Miss into her darling little Easter dress and she was more than happy to parade around and show off just how pretty she is.

Easter Sunday was a lot of fun. Mommy made some super duper yummy pancakes with fresh strawberry syrup for breakfast. Then, a little later, after Bee’s nap, Mommy dressed the kiddos up in their new outfits and we went for an Easter egg hunt. . .

Jack was sharply on point as he darted out of the house to uncover all of the eggs the Easter Bunny had hidden all over our yard. They were brightly colored plastic eggs full of yummy treats and Little Man zeroed in on each one with increasing enthusiasm.

Lil Miss wasn’t quite as keen on the egg hunt. For starters, she really only wanted to be held by Mommy, which made recording the event for posterity a little difficult. Eventually, once she was used to being outside with Mommy, Daddy, and Jack in close proximity and having blast, Mommy put Beezy on the grass and gave her some time to warm up to the idea of walking around.

Once Lil Miss gained her confidence on the uneven ground, she was determined to walk the circuit as many times as possible, holding Mommy’s hand of course. So, as she held tight to my index finger, we walked around as Jack located the last remaining eggs. Eventually, we made our way to the patio where the kiddos dove into their goody baskets left by the beloved Easter Bunny. They weren’t baskets, per se, but rather little gardening bags with age appropriate gardening tools for each. Additionally, Jack received a super neat magnifying glass for discovering all things tiny and Beezy received a Bee shaped watering can for helping Mommy water flowers.

Jack was a huge fan of the magnifying glass. Upon the immediate discovering of it’s awesome powers, he began to explore the back yard and look for tiny bugs. He instantly became engrossed in the various worlds at his finger tips, just waiting to be discovered by a 4 year old boy. . .

Of course, Jack’s interest in the great outdoors quickly evaporated oncehe realized he had a basket full of yummy treats. His attention shifted from tiny bugs and new surfaces to brightly colored peeps and their tasty texture. Fortunately, Daddy was there to capture the magical moment as it unfolded. . .

While Jack was enjoying his treats and exploring the world with the gifts the Easter Bunny had left for him, Mommy and Beezy were happy to snuggle and just enjoy the moment. Jack trounced and Mommy showed Lil Miss her fun new gardening tools. A few days later, Lil Miss joined Mommy outside in the garden where she used her fancy new trowel to move some dirt around. And when Mommy says this, I mean she basically used her trowel as a spoon to taste dirt, but hey, that’s what exploring is all about. So, while that specific application of her tools wasn’t what was intended, she certainly had the spirit of the gift down.

The rest of the early afternoon was spent just enjoying the beautiful weather with the kiddos. Daddy planted our three rose bushes and Mommy and Beezy walked around the front yard for a while. Jack enjoyed hopping around like a “ra ra rabbit” and bouncing back and forth between Mommy and helping Daddy. It was the perfect way to spend our Easter egg hunt.

The rest of the day was spent as we spend most holidays, as a family, enjoying each other’s company. There were lots of little moments, like when Beezy decided to make a vegan Easter egg by stuffing her lunch in a plastic egg or when Jack and Daddy spent time with Jack coloring Angry Bird stickers and taking turns writing out the letters of the alphabet.

Holidays are always very nice, but they’re especially nice when they can be spent cuddling up to you favorite people and hidden away from the rest of the world. We love getting together with extended family and friends, but spending time just the four of us is the bread and butter of our lives and we wouldn’t change it for anything.

Between urban farming and Easter we’ve been pretty busy around here, but there’s been a million other little moments in between and since. Not all moments are awesome, but most are. Mommy would love to say that she’s the perfect mommy and I’m capable of weathering any and all situations, but some days I just feel like I’m on fire. The house feels like it’s the middle of Summer, even if the thermostat is set to 65, and I just need a moment to breathe. This isn’t because the kiddos are awful or I’m awful, but simply because we’re all off our game. Mommy feels inundated with demands and requests while engulfed by a never ending “To Do” list. However, I’ve really been working on getting myself to just relinquish a little bit of my need for things to be “done”. I know they never will be done and honestly, this whole thing is about the ride, not the destination. It’s through this process that I do my best to focus on those million little moments that make us smile and be ok with the feeling that parenting can sometimes be tantamount to conducting a symphony with your hair on fire. I believe the phrase is, “grace under fire” and that is precisely what I pray for, along with endless patience and appreciation, every moment of every day.

However, here are some of the awesome moments that just remind me why I love my kiddos so much and why, even if I do feel completely engulfed by flames, I wouldn’t trade my life in for anything in the world. . .

Jack adores his little sister, most of the time. He loves to make her laugh and he thinks it’s awesome that she will chase after him and has no qualms about wrestling around on the ground. He’s also pretty impressed with her no fear approach to climbing on and dismounting from various pieces of furniture. Lil Miss, when her height allows, will climb onto a couch or a chair, triumphantly jump up and down, and then kamikaze herself onto the floor. Nary a tear is shed. This fearless approach to adventure and life in general is extremely pleasing to Jack. While he may be 4 and Beezy is only a few weeks shy of her 16 month birthday, she can hold her own with the best of ‘em.

So many days are filled with the sounds of Jack’s feet scurrying around the house with “Ooo ooo! Beezy!!” being called out in a high pitched tone followed by Bee’s unsteady, but determined toes in hot pursuit yelling “Aaaaah!” and both laughing as if they had discovered the most fun that could be had in the world.

When they aren’t chasing each other down, they’re busy dancing together, whether be to the tunes Mommy has filling the air or some electronic melody from one of their toys. Bee bounces up and down like a little Jack in the box, her mouth wide open with smile that can barely be contained by her face and Jack twirls to the beat of his drum. He only stops to cheer on his little sister with common phrases like, “Yah Beezy!” and “Beezy, you crazy.” All said with a smile on top of the background melody of childhood giggles.

Of course, dancing and foot pursuits aren’t the only form of sibling entertainment. Little Man does his best to school his little sister in the ways of the world. For example, over the weekend, Jack did his best to show Bee how to sort shapes using our shape sorting toy cookie jar. She did quite well and was ever so pleased with herself when she managed to squeeze the circular cookie into the correct hole, but alas, Jack couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t as adept at the other shapes. So, while he attempted to coach her into sorting out the heart, star, triangle, and square shapes, Lil Miss was perfectly content to stick to shape she already mastered.

There are three times of day that Jack and Bee have the most fun: before Jack goes to school, dinner time, and before bed, but after bath time. For some reason, these three times of day are ripe with silly shenanigans. Dinner time is especially interesting. Whether Jack is helping Bee eat her dinner, squeaking toys in her ear, or just making funny faces at her to make her smile. Jack is quite the fan of having a captive audience and you can’t really get more captive than a kiddo strapped down in a booster seat.

Of course, Mommy’s favorite time of day for silly shenanigans is after bath time. I love seeing the kiddos all cleaned up from the day’s dirt and grime sporting their cute pjs. This is especially true for Beezy. Since outgrowing her fuzzy footy pjs, she’s been wearing Jack’s old pjs from when he was her age. So, she bops around the house wearing some oldies, but goodies, like robot pjs, alien pjs, and puppy pjs. She simply looks too cute for words, especially when her hair has the right amount of mayhem to it.

Of course, Jack is super adorable in his pjs as well. While all of the clothes Mommy and Daddy buy him are super comfy, he always seems right at home and at ease when he’s all “cozy” wearing his cozy, aka fuzzy/fluffy, pjs. While goofing around one night, Jack was quite insistent that Mommy take a picture of him as a robot. Earlier in the day I had given Jack a bunch of pipe cleaners and our metal colander and I told him to have fun. The result was Jack building a robot. Meaning, he made a robot hat and when he put it on, he became a robot. He even stuck his arms out in a rigid manner and moved them up and down as if he didn’t have joints. He’s such an imaginative little guy and one of my favorite things in the world is to see and hear where his creativity will take him.

The kiddos also spend a great deal of time building when they’re in pjs. Jack enjoys building expansive and very impressive wooden block cities, while together, they enjoy putting together and taking apart Duplo masterpieces. . .

While all of the memories are amazing, my favorite pj clad moment took place in the kitchen one evening following some of the very same activities described above. Mommy was in the kitchen cleaning up and the kiddos had moved their play together time to the space beneath my feet, which is also quite common. Then, out of nowhere, Jack hugged Bee from behind and said, “I love you Beezy!”. It makes Mommy’s eyes well up with tears of joy just thinking about it. They are such loving kiddos and Jack is simply the best big brother in the world. And just when I think he couldn’t possibly be more awesome at his big brother duties, he proves me wrong. As a Mommy, nothing could make me any prouder than to have two kiddos who love each other so much and genuinely enjoy each other.

Of course, bed time doesn’t always go this smoothly and the kiddos don’t always get along. As much as they enjoy each other and love playing with one another, there are times when they each need a little alone time or one on one time with Mommy without the other one’s attention grabbing ways. Of course, they rarely have these alone time/quiet time tendencies at the same time. It’s in these moments that the kiddos have their sibling squabbles. Either Bee wants to play with Jack and he just wants to be left alone to watch a show or Beezy just wants to sit and explore a toy without a whole lot of hubbub and Jack is hell bent on making as much noise as possible. These are experiences and feelings that Mommy and Daddy can certainly appreciate and relate to.

One of Bee’s favorite ways to spend her quiet time is checking out books. Mommy, in an attempt to encourage reading and book exploration, created a reading nook for the kiddos in the living room. I have their book sling, a selection of Bee proof books, and a cozy and soft spot to sit or lay down. This is one of Bee’s favorite places to be.

Jack’s idea of quiet down time usually involves watching a show, sometimes with some cuddling thrown in. Jack’s favorite shows as of late are Spiderman, Godzilla, The Aquabats Super Show, Adventure Time, Transformers: Rescue Bots. PBS specials they aren’t, but Jack still enjoys a good episode of Sesame Street, even if he won’t admit it. Fortunately, in recent weeks, down time has also been incorporated in family movie time. A few weekends ago we watched Wreck It Ralph and this past weekend we watched Lilo and Stitch. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to engage in family movie time, but as Daddy gets better and being able to balance school and family, we’re able to pick our family traditions back up. Resuming important family traditions makes everyone super happy, but it’s also super nice when we get special cuddles with Jack.

In other news, just last week Mommy took Lil Miss back to the doctor because she has her fourth double ear infection in as many months. Her lack of sleep translates into a lack of sleep for Mommy and Daddy. Her fluid filled ears translate into challenges hearing and result in challenges speaking. And one of the associated challenges with it all is getting Lil Miss off her bottle. We had been waiting for her to be better, but every time we turn around, she has another cold and another ear infection. This time around, after the antibiotics had a chance to kick in and she had some relief, we pulled the bottle cold turkey. Since Monday, Bee has been bottle free although she’s none too pleased about it. She cries and cries at nap and bed times in protest and the past two nights she’s woken up twice and cried for a substantial amount of time. She’s quite stubborn and insistent things be her way, but according to the doctor, the worst thing she can do is eventually tire herself out from crying and go to sleep. While we don’t like the sound of our little one crying, it helps knowing that if we don’t do it this way, she’ll potentially end up with another ear infection causing her even more pain and challenges. It’s up to Mommy and Daddy to be strong ones and do what’s best, even in the face of extreme discontent and lack of adequate sleep.

Yes, it’s a mixed bag around here. You can never be too sure what you’re going to get, but you can be certain it’s going to be memorable. The good, the bad, the incredibly off the wall, all of it resides within our home. We face challenges on a daily basis. However, regardless of the challenge, it helps Mommy to think about Jack. He started off as our little guy who couldn’t/didn’t speak. He through tantrums out of frustration because he couldn’t make himself understood and Mommy and Daddy both ached for the time that he would tell us he loved us. Now, not only does Little Man talk, he says the most awesome things. Here are a few of our favorite Jackisms. . .

• “Mommy do wrong.” or “Daddy do wrong.” There certainly aren’t any illusions of parental infallibility in our house.
• “Jack, how are you?” “So, so, so happ-ee!!” *bounce, bounce, bounce* We love that when you ask him how he is, he doesn’t respond with the traditional “fine”, but with an honest and enthusiastic answer involving his entire body.

   

• “Ka-ka-kangaroo!” This is usually said as he’s jumping around the house and with a very excited and out of breath voice. It’s one of the portions to his speech therapy alphabet phonics. He’s up to “U” for umbrella bird, but the joy on his face and in his voice when he does kangaroo is simply precious.

   

   

• “Can I get a little help here?” We’re not sure where this one came from, but suddenly Jack, when in need of assistance started saying this phrase. It took us by surprise and always makes us smile.

   

• “Ha ha! That’s a knee slapper!” Jack loves to tell knock knock jokes and he loves to point out when he thinks things are funny. However, when something is amusing, but doesn’t quite elicit an impromptu laugh, Jack responds with this. Of course, most of the time it’s in response to his own jokes.

   

   

• “That’s cool!” One day, suddenly things that Jack liked were cool and he ever so coolly started expressing this.

   

• “See you after wunch!” We aren’t sure if Jack completely understands what lunch is, but every time he says goodbye, he says, “See you after wunch!”. It’s super cute.

   

   

• “Let me help!” Whenever Mommy or Daddy are engaged in an activity that Jack thinks looks interesting, he perks up and offers to help. While his helpful nature is incredibly sweet, this demand to be helpful usually comes with the stipulation that help will only be given if Jack is able to do something he thinks is cool.

   

• “Sun up Mommy.” It’s no secret that Mommy loves her sleep and that Daddy is usually out of bed before Mommy. In fact, Jack is usually out of bed before all of us. Mommy sets up a cup of juice and yogurt in the fridge for her to grab when comes upstairs and I leave out breakfast place setting for him at the kitchen table with his Birds. So, when Jack sees that Daddy is awake, one of the first things that Jack does once Daddy hops in the shower is to come into our bedroom to inform me that the sun is in fact up and it’s time for me to get out of bed and get dressed. On mornings that I’m particularly sluggish, he even points out where I can find my clothes.

   

• “They’re my friends!” When discussing his classmates or people he really likes or even seem similar to him, Jack refers to them as his friends. Jack is such a great kid that it’s no wonder he considers everyone to be his friend. He even has a buddy on the bus who sits behind him named Jeremy who likes to “pet” his head. When asked about this, Jack said, “Jeremy my friend! He pet my head. He loves me!”

   

Jack’s vocabulary and ability to express himself has grown leaps and bounds, but Mommy and Daddy both simply love that he calls us Mommy and Daddy. It will always be the greatest sound in the entire world and completely worth the wait. So, when Mommy is having a hard day because Beezy’s chosen means of communicating is to screech at the top of her lungs or because Jack is hell bent on testing every boundary and family rule we have, I just remember how far we’ve come and know there’s no distance we can’t travel together as family.

The week was supposed to be one of bouncing back. With Beezy appearing to be on the mend, Jack in good spirits, and our plumbing still working life appeared to be looking up. Mommy had planned so many fun activities, but when Jack came home from school telling us that three of his friends weren’t at school because they were “too too sick”, I had a sinking sensation in my tummy. Yes, we were in for another week of extreme illness where Jack was too sick for school, Bee wasn’t sleeping, Mommy had an awful cold, and Daddy was dealing with midterms. Life has been less than awesome this past week, but Mommy has written more than enough about illness. Besides, on the bright side of things, Mommy and the kiddos had an awesome outing before the plague hit us once again. . .

On Saturday, while Daddy spent the day at the library, Mommy, Jack, and Beezy joined Grandad and Nana for an early lunch and a trip to the aquarium! This was the first time Jack had been out to a restaurant to eat in nearly two years and the first time that Beezy had been out to eat since she as an itty bitty baby sleeping in her car seat. This was also the first time Mommy had been out to eat since Daddy and Mommy went out on our last date night for our five year anniversary, right before Beezy was born. Needless to say, it was fun. Beezy enjoyed munching on grilled cheese and Jack enjoyed pointing out various shapes around the restaurant. After eating, we were off to look at some fish!

Jack was completely captivated by all of the creatures that make up the aquarium. From “Nemos” and sea horses to sunbathing iguanas and starfish the place was full of all the fun things a four year would find awesome. Jack especially got a kick out of being able to touch various creatures and describe their textures to me.

It was an awesome adventure out of the house and one that even Lil Miss enjoyed. Grandad made sure she didn’t miss a single interesting exhibit.

So, before our week turned into one full of illness and snail trails from the nose, the kiddos and Mommy had a blast discovering sea creatures together and spending time with Nana and Grandad. We’ve had more than our fair share of yuckies the past six months, but if there’s one thing Mommy has learned these past few months, smile as much as you can when the opportunities present themselves, even if it’s through a stream of snot.

It’s been a relatively quiet week. In fact, this week has marked a turning point in our home. This kiddos have finally worked out their sleep schedules! Lil Miss is finally sleeping through the night and Jack is finally sleeping past 6:30 in the morning. For the past week, Mommy and Daddy have experienced full and uninterrupted sleep. One morning, it was the sound of birds chirping outside our window that woke us up! It truly is amazing the difference a full night’s rest can make and the results have been palpable.

Mommy hasn’t been shy about stating that it’s been a long and harsh winter for our family. While we’ve had many blessing and made amazing memories, most of those blessing and memories have been sandwiched in between illness after illness and sleepless night after sleepless night. The toll was seriously starting to show on Mommy. I have always prided myself on my patience, but it wasn’t until this week that I realized how thread bare my nerves had become over the past few months.

I always try to be the best Mommy I can be, but with the challenges we’ve faced, it’s felt like my best has amounted to a hill a beans and my ability to keep the kiddos alive. Hard work, temper tantrums, illness, being cooped up as a result of brutal weather and attitudes, and our epic plumbing ordeal had left Mommy feeling like a shell of the parent I want to be and the kiddos deserve. However, a long period of stressed out parenting can quickly become the norm and thus, the habit. After all other factors had been removed and I was still feeling on edge, Mommy realized that I had been in damage control mode for so long that I hadn’t recognized the moment that I could stop and reset. Today was Mommy’s reset day.

We’ve all slept well. We’re all eating well. Most of our problems have been or are being resolved. The kiddos each have their respective colds. In fact, Beezy looks like she has a snail constantly emerging from her nostrils by the mega amount of slime that is constantly pouring out, but this is to be expected. All in all, life is good. We’re heading into Spring. The weather, while blustery has been in the 50′s and fairly sunny. Everything is starting again and Mommy is ready.

Today, Mommy took stock of all the awesomeness we have in our lives and decided I needed to make a concerted effort to leave damage control in the past and focus on the bright and smiling faces before me. I made a conscious effort to use positive and affectionate language and I didn’t miss an opportunity to cuddle or be silly with the kiddos. We played. We read books. We reconnected to our happier and more at peace selves and I could feel us collectively exhale. The Mommy style and behaviors that came like second nature before are something I’m going to have to make a continued and concerted effort to stay connected to until it all becomes fluid again, but that’s ok. The kiddos deserve to have their super mommy back and I deserve to enjoy our lives again. Plus, I think Daddy would be happy to have life back to normal once again as well.

Last night, Mommy and the kiddos had a pretty great night. Jack enjoyed making his little sister laugh during dinner and they both acted like total goofballs. But, a huge bonus was they both ate their dinners. Jack finished off all of his “trees” and the ones that Ellie didn’t want. He even tried some corn. While it wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, Mommy was just happy he tried something out of the ordinary.

After dinner, the kiddos piled into the tub for a little bit of playtime with the potential of getting clean thrown in for good measure. Jack and Bee were laughing and oddly enough, Little Man was abiding by the tub rules of no splashing. However, playtime was cut short abruptly when Lil Miss decided to stand up and drop a deuce in the tub, twice. Mommy wishes I could say this was the first time this has happened, but between Jack and Beezy, I’m old hat at this. And, it would seem that Jack is old hat at it too because he alerted me to the situation and calmly exited the water. While this was the second of third time that Bee had performed this trick, she seemed startled by the turn of events as if they were happening to someone else all together. As she looked back behind her to see what was happening, she immediately did her best to climb out of the tub with a horrified look on her face. So, Mommy cleaned up and we were off to Bee’s room to put on pajamas.

We had some time before bed following putting on pjs. So, I asked Jack if he wanted to watch a show. He said, “No thank you. Play with Beezy.” Talk about making an awesome choice. With each of the kiddos donning their respective pjs, Jack in Curious George and Beezy in bulldogs, we made our way to the living room where we decided to dance to some lullabies. Mommy swayed with the kiddos, each one taking turns in my arms, as I moved side to side like I did when they were still growing in my tummies or restless at night as little babes. All of us were smiling from ear to ear as we danced and danced. Jack occasionally would strike a pose as he demonstrated his own brand of interpretive dance and Bee just snuggled her little head against my shoulder.

Mommy ached for all of the time that passed, wishing I could gather all of the memories together in my arms at once and hold on tight forever. I longed to take a deep breath and inhale the sweet scent of creamy peaches that occupied my nostrils for the first weeks after Jack was born when I held him close, admiring his soft skin and tiny fingers. I quietly remembered the sensation of Ellie’s soft newborn breaths on my neck as I nuzzled her while she slept. The hardest part about being a mommy is balancing how long the days feel with how short the years are. The profound love for my children is all encompassing, but the very nature of that love runs me ragged, empties my eyes of tears, fills my heart with joy, and leaves asking if I held on tight enough to satiate a mother’s never-ending need for just one more hug. All this Mommy can do is try my best to survive the long days with grace and love, while staying present and relishing the sweet moments as they happen. I know that I do because Mommy remembers some of the smallest details with such great affection, like the sound of Jack’s voice when he says, “Look at me mommy!” and the way Bee’s eyes light up when she fearlessly crashes into anything causing her brother to laugh and simply say, “Oh Beezy. . .”. It’s the recounting of these memories that cause me to cry tears of joy and mourning at how fast these years are going by. But that is the burden of a mommy and one that is well worth all of the moments I get to experience and relish for the rest of my life.

Mommy must concede that attempting to blog whenever I can, without a deadline, is a complete failure. I’m constantly behind in documenting those important milestones and I feel nothing, but guilt when I look at my computer. So, I have resolved to resurrect my weekly blogging schedule. However, instead of posting every Tuesday, which was chosen because Jack was born on a Tuesday or every Thursday, which was the day of the week Ellie was born, Mommy has decided to split the difference and go with every Wednesday. Furthermore, if I waited until I finished my great big Anniversary, Christmas, New Year, double birthday extravaganza post, I’d be waiting to start my new blog schedule until February and I’d spend the entire year behind and feeling guilty for being behind. This is a new year and Mommy has resolved many things and not the least of which is posting beautiful memories about my favorite family.

The new posts will be shorter. Mommy loves writing endless tomes about our family and how much I love each of them to the moon and back, but Mommy needs balance. I need to be able to write posts that document the awesome fun we have, but we also need to be able to have awesome fun without Mommy being totally zonked from being completely consumed by the task of mommy-hood. I love being a mommy, more than anything else in the world, but part of being a good mommy is knowing my limits. So, instead of writing 10,000 word posts, I’m going to limit myself to those moments of pure awesomeness or the big stuff that’s going on. I want to fit it all in, but alas, despite rumors to the contrary, I am a mere mortal who requires sleep.

While on the topic of sleep, Beezy has not been sleeping. For the past couple of weeks she has been up every few hours and fairly grumpy throughout the day. Daddy has noted her endless screeching, namely at mealtimes. He compares the physical response he has to this noise to that of a little gremlin stabbing him in the back of the neck with an ice pick. Mommy attributed her poor sleeping to teething. All four of her molars erupted, but none are completely in. However, upon taking Lil Miss for her one year check up, we discovered she had her very first ear infection. Mommy then noticed two days ago, January 21^st, that Bee’s top canine teeth had just erupted at the same time. Lil Beezy has not been sleeping well and grumpy with very good reason. Of course, it doesn’t help that Little Man wakes her up way too early every morning, but Mommy will get to that in a minute.

January 14^th Lil Miss had her one year exam. It was first thing in the morning and due to a scheduling conflict, our regular doctor wasn’t there, but Mommy, Daddy, and Jack were all present for moral support. We tried to prepare Jack for the Bee getting her immunizations. She was scheduled for three and even though she handles these things like a champ, we knew three would bring tears. When the time came, Little Man sat with Daddy and Mommy help Lil Miss. While Bee cried from the pokes, it seemed that the one truly bothered by the experience was Jack. He kept telling us, with tears in his eyes that “Bee have booboo”. Daddy hugged our big hearted little guy and explained that the pokes that were making his little sister cry were actually full of medicine that would make sure she’s protected from bigger booboos. Jack seemed to understand this and we could see him processing this information, but he still proclaimed, “Doctor do wrong. Beezy have booboos.” It was so heartwarming and sweet.

Lil Miss is growing off the charts, just like her brother was at this age. She has grown four inches in three months and gained four pounds! Beezy now weighs in at 26 lbs 5 oz. and measures 32 inches tall. Her head has also grown from 45.5 cm to 46.5. She ranks above the 98^th percentile for her age, which is more than obvious when we’re at a playland or around other kiddos. She is a healthy and happy little girl who is built to take whatever life throws her way, even her big brother. Here’s a fun look at both kiddos at the same age. Mommy loves this sort of thing. . .

Back to the topic of sleep, Little Man has decided that any type of sleep that doesn’t take place at night, “sun down, moon up” is a sign of complete and total surrender. Surrender is not an option for Little Man. So, while he no longer wakes up at 3 in the morning thinking it’s play time, he does rise anywhere between 5:30 and 7:30. The child rationalizes that if he’s awake, it’s time to be up and Mommy, Daddy, and Bee are just far too lazy. However, Mommy and Daddy sleeping isn’t a bad thing in his book as long as he has breakfast on the table and his Birds to play. What is a complete travesty is when his little sister is still snoozing and he’s in the mood to play with her. It’s in these moments, that whatever sound he thinks comes from her room, means she is awake and thus fair game for entertainment. So, he swoops in, throws on the light and they begin to engage in a game of keep away with Bee’s “lovey” a pink bunny mini blanket made out of minky material, or he entertains her by playing with her toys, jumping around, or general monkey like behavior. This is Mommy’s wakeup call and it usually occurs at 6:30 when we hear the raucous coming through Bee’s monitor. Regardless of what we try or how Mommy and Daddy attempt to explain that when Bee is asleep, she needs to sleep and no one breaks the cardinal rule of “never wake a sleeping baby”, Jack just wants to play with his sis. And so, as they say, them’s the breaks, or in our case, them’s the breaks of dawn.

While we’ve been measuring Bee’s physical growth, Little Man’s social growth is more than apparent. His conversation skills are always improving and his willingness to try new things is expanding. This was never so apparent as when we had a blind playdate. With Daddy’s break from school over (it went way too fast), Mommy has become more than aware of our need to have a better support system. Over time, it has become apparent that our little world is comprised of only a few reliable people. The reasons for this are unimportant as pointing fingers rarely does any good. However, one of Mommy’s New Year’s resolutions was to expand our social horizons and strive to surround us with people who choose to be a part of our lives and not dwell on those who have other priorities. Furthermore, Mommy and Bee being the extroverts that we are, we need social interaction and with Jack tending towards the side of an introvert, it’s important to make social situations as positive as possible. Thus, the reason for the blind playdate.

Mommy met the wife of a guy that Daddy goes to school with and they have two kiddos about Jack’s age. Following the end of Daddy’s winter break, Mommy was feeling particularly sad. I was already missing Daddy as I thought about the long semester that stretched out before us and I could feel the sense of overwhelming responsibility of life as Law School single mommy. So, Daddy helped Mommy set up a blind playdate with Amy and her kiddos.

This playdate took place this past Monday and we had a blast. Jack had so much fun playing with Olivia and Hugh. They played with blocks, drank hot chalk, played with trains, and in general had an awesome time. There were no melt downs or shyness, on Jack or Mommy’s part. There were a few tears, but none that aren’t common when kiddos play together. Mommy was thrilled that kids got along in such a seamless way. I was also excited at how well Mommy and Amy got along. Mommy and Amy had so much fun talking together that a short playdate soon turned into an all day affair. Mommy is very proud of how well Little Man handled the new situation with so many new people and I’m also proud of myself for expanding our little inner circle. We’re looking forward to many more playdates.

This past weekend Mommy and Daddy did something we have never done before. We took both of the kiddos out clothes shopping. A few weeks ago Daddy picked up some new duds for Little Man, but with Bee’s rapid growth she’s been in need of a few new items as well. Not to mention, it’s been a single digit winter this year and few warmer items were also on the list. So, we headed out to Carters. When at all possible we try to buy all the kids’ clothes there because the prices tend to be reasonable and we know what to expect from their sizing unlike most other vendors.

Mommy and Daddy were a little concerned that Jack might want to buy everything in the store and be very upset once he understood the reality of us only buying clothes for his little sister. As usual, Jack completely surprised us. He was all about helping Mommy pick out cute outfits for Bee, but his biggest concern was for footwear. He was quite fixated on the idea that Bee needed a pair of red patent leather shoes. Eventually, after helping Mommy look at a few t-shirts with puppies and pandas, Jack decided to head over to the puzzle table. There, he, Daddy, and Bee remained entertained while Mommy snagged a few selections. Finally, it was time for Lil Miss to make the final call. So, Mommy held up two options at a time and Beezy picked between the two. This is how we concluded our first family shopping trip for clothes. It was a success. Little Man even scored a couple pair of sweet mittens.

Mommy does her best to make time for each of the kiddos individually. They’re a barrel of laughs or tears as a duo, but that doesn’t mean each one doesn’t need and deserve some individual quality time. Lil Miss has been a little more demanding with her desire for Mommy and Me time. In fact, this week she decided to adopt the age old strategy of latching onto Mommy’s pant leg and refusing to detach unless picked up. However, once she’s picked up, regardless of the task Mommy is working on completely, Bee is put back down, she unleashes the scream that is so high pitched and loud I swear the dogs run for cover. So, most of our one on one time is spent like Siamese twins, but that doesn’t preclude us from being able to enjoy a Mommy Daughter picnic or dance session every now and again. Her little face just beams happiness and silliness when we’re able to just cut loose.

This past week has been especially nice with Bee, aside from the not sleeping and being grumpy because this week, she really started to initiate affection. Out of the blue she began cuddling her against mine or putting her face against Daddy’s cheek. She’s always loved it when I put my cheek against hers and we harmonize sounds together, that was something I always loved as a kiddo too, but this week she’s just been so engaged in moments of love and happiness. Granted these moments tend to be capped off with her grabbing at glasses or scratching my face followed by her baby girl cackle of mischief, but the moments are still pretty darn awesome.

Jack is a little different when it comes to one on one time. As with most things, Little Man usually needs things on his terms. If Mommy or Daddy try to push for cuddle time or play time when he’s not ready for it or he’s enmeshed in another activity, he has no qualms about saying “No!”. So, Mommy must choose her moment wisely. This week, my favorite one on one activity was making more pumpkin scones with Jack. He loves baking. In fact, whenever we’re in the kitchen together Jack will exclaim, “Jack baking!” and promptly pull out his equipment. After numerous baking sessions and lots of trial and error, I’ve finally uncovered a semi perfect recipe for baking fun with Jack. Mommy gathers all of the ingredients together, I premix any items that may be too messy or difficult to handle with Jack, and I organize it all on the kitchen table. The kitchen table is key because it offers plenty of room. This time around I printed off the recipe had Jack read off each of the numbers for me and then count with me as we scooped flour or whatever ingredient we were mixing in. He felt involved and Mommy felt like we were having stress free fun. There was no fighting over who got to do what, just working together to make pumpkin scones. When the scones were finished and topped off with a yummy glaze, we took the time to enjoy our hard work before it was time for bed. Upon tasting his scone Jack said, “We did good team work cause pumpkin bread is tasty!” Oh the blessed life I lead.

With Daddy back in school Jack has been acting out, pushing his boundaries, as a way of showing his displeasure with our routine switching up. The first semester Daddy was gone, Mommy, out of guilt perhaps, allowed our family rules to lapse and consequences to lighten up. Cognitively I know this was a bad move because kiddos need consistency and they need to know they are loved by the boundaries they are in place, but when your little guy is throwing a tantrum because he misses Daddy, it’s not so easy to keep up your end of the parenting bargain. Mommy just didn’t feel strong enough that first semester because it was I could to just hang on and survive.

This semester is different. Mommy is prepared and I feel fully equipped to handle whatever life throws at us. Jack is also familiar with what life and our routine is like with Daddy in school. So, this semester, Mommy’s heart and head are completely in sync. Thus, there have been a few major outbursts as a result of putting the boundaries firmly back in place, but ultimately, life will be much improved for all involved. Jack is also taking everything in stride as well. At first he bucked hard against this new way of life, but he’s catching on quick. Just in the past few days his outbursts have lost some of their intensity and the words, “I’m sorry” come a little easier and with more sincerity. Mommy is even getting better. My patience has grown and my understanding of the process keeps me calm because we’re both being consistent in our roles. We’ve struggled together and now we’re learning together and that makes all the difference. Jack is even saying “Sorry Mommy” or “Sorry Bee” when he accidently offends. Mommy can’t help, but beam with pride because our little guy is growing up as he works so hard to make sure his inside grows with the rest of him.

As a family we’re all on a journey together. We’re all working together to keep this little boat afloat in constantly changing waters. Daddy is working on balancing the different areas of his life, Mommy is working on pushing past those uncomfortable barriers so I can grow into a better wife, Mommy, and person, Jack is working on just being the best Jack he can be, and Beezy is about the business of every toddler. Simply put, we’re all just trying to grow up and if this past week is any indication, I think we’re on the right track.

Quick Family Facts

• Daddy received his grades from his first semester in law school and he’s in the top of his class! All of his hard work is paying off and Mommy couldn’t be prouder. The kiddos would be equally proud if they understood about all of this law school stuff, but I’m sure they’ll get it eventually. In the mean time, Mommy will be bursting with pride for all of us.
• Jack slept through the night wearing his big boys pants this week without an accident! Mommy and Daddy are so totally stoked.
• Little Man is also progressing at school. Apparently he got into a little bit of trouble for goofing off with one of his friends during story time. This actually made his teacher, Miss Debbie, quite happy because it shows his growing social skills.
• Mommy is working on getting Beezy weaned off of bottles. With guidance and blessing from her pediatrician we’ve been able to switch her from cow’s milk to a mixture of soy and almond milk. That was the first step. Then we went from sweetened soy/almond milk to unsweetened and now we’re working on moving from the bottle to the sippy cup. The final step of bottle to sippy is taking some work, but we’re sticking with it. The rest of her dietary needs are being met as she is way more open to trying new foods that Jack. She’s a huge fan of all of her veggies, different types of potatoes, and adores different types of fruits. Her favorites by far though are avocados, broccoli, and bananas. Of course, if she had her way, she’d eat nothing, but graham crackers. So, those are thrown in sparingly and only at the end of a meal.

  

• It was Jack’s turn to bring snack to school this week and he wanted to bring goldfish crackers and juice. So, Mommy melted ziplock bags so they would look like fishbowls and decorated the juice boxes to look like hungry kitties. Little Man was quite thrilled when he saw the finished result. Daddy mentioned that most parents just drop off prepackaged snacks, but honestly, Mommy loves doing fun stuff like this for Jack. It challenges my creativity, it’s fun for the kiddos in his class, and it makes Jack smile. It’s certainly worth the extra effort.